Maybe you know or maybe you don’t. I thought I knew, but I’m just now learning. After being in a relationship with the same person for 3.5 years and then dating another person (only the second person ever) for 6 months and then going back to the previous guy for 6 months, I haven’t exactly had much dating experience…obviously. Well I am now realizing how difficult it is to find a date-worthy person and then once finding someone that you think is date-worthy its hard to actually date… it feels like there are so many “rules” to follow.
Girls have rules that we feel like we have to follow (don’t call or text him first, don’t call or text him too much, say you don’t want to hangout even though you really really do want to, play hard-to-get because guys like a chase, etc.) and guys just do whatever they want, typically it seems like guys aren’t too worried about coming on too strong or not strong enough or about looking good enough and acting a certain way. I’m realizing that there are so many dynamics to dating and honestly, I feel like this: “I’ve been dating since I was 15, I’m exhausted! Where is he???” – Sex and the City. Granted I’m only 20..or 20 in 12 days anyway… and I should be enjoying the dating scene, it really just feels like this town has no one that is date-worthy – maybe I’ll have better luck when I transfer to the University of Georgia. Geez, I sure hope so!
Getting back to what I was getting at, yes there are so many dynamics to dating but being a Yankee (I’m proud of it so being called a “damn Yankee” does not offend me in any way, shape or form… justsoyaknow!) and living in the south, Georgia to be exact, makes it all the more challenging to find someone with the same views as me. What I mean by views is that in the household I grew up in both of my parents worked, they both raised us, they both cooked and they both cleaned. My mom was not expected to stay at home and keep the house and kids while my dad worked his rear off to make a buck to support our family.
The reason I got thinking on this is this:
I was dating this guy for about a little over a month and he was not just any guy, but a real southern guy who was raised in a real southern family who had real southern views. I didn’t think this was an issue, but when the conversations started dying out and he quit acting quite like himself I got to thinking about why this could have happened. Well for starters, I am going to school to be a lawyer, I am going to make it and I am going to make it big. I know that I will live in a nice house and drive a nice vehicle, because I will not settle for less. He is content with living in a tiny house, working hard and hunting to his hearts content. That was fine with me, but something leads me to believe that he doesn’t really want a relationship with someone who is going to be the bread-winner of the family, as his mom has been a stay-at-home-mom, cooks a meal for his family each and every night, and so on and so forth. I’ve noticed that real southern guys want to have families just like the ones they were raised in. I think I would have been a better fit for brad* if I didn’t want to go to college, wanted to get married right now, wanted to start a family immediately and wanted to live in the middle of nowhere on a bunch of land in a tiny house. It is totally fine that guys want women like that, but that is just not me.
* Name changed for obvious reasons
I think I’ll write on the rules of dating in my next post, or one that follows shortly, surely this has been written about by thousands of people and talked on TV and in magazines, but this will be from my experiences – which means it’s sure to be interesting.
When it comes down to it, there’s just a difference between dating a real southern guy and a regular guy – I think I want a real southern guy because you know that they were raised right and will give you the world, but either I’m going to have to change, or I’m just going to have to find someone that can accept the fact that I want to make something out of myself, and not depend on a guy to survive.
Some cuteness for your day:
This is my best friends baby girl, Addison, she is a doll and we love her.
We did a photoshoot right before Christmas : )